WHO SAID THAT?

The late, great WC Fields was famous for having a drink or three, for his dislike of children and for his misogyny (despite being married and having a couple of ‘live ins’, one of whom was killed in a bar fight!).
His most famous quotes include:
“Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad” and “Never give a sucker an even break”, while a personal favourite is “Who left the cork out of my lunch?”


Here’s a few more …

“A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.”

“All the men in my family were bearded … and most of the women.”

“Children should neither be seen or heard from … ever again.”

“Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?”

“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.”

“Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.”

“No doubt exists that all women are crazy … it’s only a question of degree.”

“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”

“Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.”

“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”

And finally …

“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.”